Let's say it's 1975. Myself and good buddy Chillydog have zip to do on a rainy Saturday afternoon. Ah ha! The rotary dial telephone—there's a source of fun and good times!
"Hello?"
"Hi, is your fridge running?" Chillydog asked.
"Why, yes it is."
"Well, ya better go get it before it gets too far away."
We roll with laughter as he hangs up the phone. My turn next:
"Hello?"
"Yes, have you read the book; The Open Kimono?"
"No."
"You should, it's written by Seymour Hair!"
Ah, the good old days. Fast forward to the 80's and the arrival of the answering machine. I loved leaving messages on my friends' machines. If I was calling a married couple I'd call the husband as a gay truck driver thanking him for the lovely romp in my sleeper cabin. Naturally, the following day I'd put on a female voice and call the wife as a lesbian lover thanking her for the romp in the women's washroom.
The best thing happened in 1995. I was working construction with a bass player buddy of mine. Being broke musicians with day jobs we were literally digging ditches...literally. He grabs his ghetto blaster (Old school tape machine, kids) and plops a cassette in.
"It's a comedy tape I dug up, you might like it," he says.
He hits play. It sounds familiar. It's a prank call. I stop and lean on my shovel. This stuff is kinda funny. The second fake call plays. Familiarity yet again.
"What the fu** is this? I've heard this before," I say.
My buddy is doubled over laughing because it wasn't until the third phony call that I realize I'm listening to my own voice! For eight months he saved my voice messages and burned them to tape. It was pure nonsense and I loved it. We listened to Jamaicans, Irishmen, gay women, straight dudes, cops, fictitious mayors the whole gamut. He had twenty-two minutes of my noise. All messages to he and his wife.
I was shocked that for all the voices I did, there really was very little in the way of material. But that made it even funnier—that and the times I totally repeated myself. What a fool!
Today, I'm working on my audiobook of Moose's Law...A Doug 'Moose" McCrae Story. I'm having an absolute blast. I was built for this jazz. Great author John Sheppird (The Shill series) attended my L.A. launch of Moose's Law. He bought a book, read it, then reached out to me.
"This is a great character; the loner, the hero...action is great. You should do the audiobook, you're voice would be great for this."
And so it went. John brought over his portable rig and taught me how to use it. I set up in my
studio/gym, did my vocal warm ups and started rappin'. Right out of the gate I ran into technical difficulties, causing me to unleash a ton of obscenities. Listening back to my harsh words gave me a good chuckle...then I erased the litany.
Message to all parents out there: if your kids are little rascals, let them free the rascal within.
Because sometimes from bad prank calls loaded with corny jokes grow groovy audiobooks!
"Hello?""Hi, is your fridge running?" Chillydog asked.
"Why, yes it is."
"Well, ya better go get it before it gets too far away."
We roll with laughter as he hangs up the phone. My turn next:
"Hello?"
"Yes, have you read the book; The Open Kimono?"
"No."
"You should, it's written by Seymour Hair!"
Ah, the good old days. Fast forward to the 80's and the arrival of the answering machine. I loved leaving messages on my friends' machines. If I was calling a married couple I'd call the husband as a gay truck driver thanking him for the lovely romp in my sleeper cabin. Naturally, the following day I'd put on a female voice and call the wife as a lesbian lover thanking her for the romp in the women's washroom.
"It's a comedy tape I dug up, you might like it," he says.
He hits play. It sounds familiar. It's a prank call. I stop and lean on my shovel. This stuff is kinda funny. The second fake call plays. Familiarity yet again.
"What the fu** is this? I've heard this before," I say.
My buddy is doubled over laughing because it wasn't until the third phony call that I realize I'm listening to my own voice! For eight months he saved my voice messages and burned them to tape. It was pure nonsense and I loved it. We listened to Jamaicans, Irishmen, gay women, straight dudes, cops, fictitious mayors the whole gamut. He had twenty-two minutes of my noise. All messages to he and his wife.
I was shocked that for all the voices I did, there really was very little in the way of material. But that made it even funnier—that and the times I totally repeated myself. What a fool!
 |
| Audiobooks baby, yeah! |
"This is a great character; the loner, the hero...action is great. You should do the audiobook, you're voice would be great for this."
And so it went. John brought over his portable rig and taught me how to use it. I set up in my
Message to all parents out there: if your kids are little rascals, let them free the rascal within.
Because sometimes from bad prank calls loaded with corny jokes grow groovy audiobooks!
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