Does it bother you cats when you're at the bank (if you still go to the bank) and even though there are multiple signs asking that people wrap up their cell phone conversation before they reach the teller, a ton of people disregard and chat away while the teller patiently waits to perform his or her customer service? Or how about the guy at the front of the line of cars at a red light that snoozes on the green because he's on the phone texting? Or the pedestrian that nearly walks into you on the street because their head is down glued to their phone?
This is addiction. It's FOMO (fear of missing out) on anything 'meaningful' on the device. I was at the post office recently (don't judge me, I was mailing a book to a friend) and decided to leave my phone in my ride and just hang tight in the post office line up. Oh, boy was it a doozie! I was looking at a 15—20 minute wait. Ha, no sweat. I've got this.
The line was 15 people deep and 100% of them had heads down, necks cranked forward Lurch-style consuming every manner of 'whatever' their little computer phones would spit out. I was a man alone with no devise to amuse. Alas, I told myself, "worry not my friend for we have the thoughts in our head!" (That ought to be a party!)
At first nothing happened. I checked my watch: forty-five seconds had passed. Sh#$, this blows. I could have asked that my spot be saved then run and get my phone but NO, I've got this. Time check: one minute twenty seconds; and the line had not moved. I challenged myself:
let's go champ, whatcha got up in that pea brain?
I dug deep but nothing came. At this point I'm beginning to think I'm a moron. "NO!" my inner voice shouts. "No morons here this day!" I sneak a peek at the dude in front of me and clock what he's looking at: Facebook. How lame. I sneak a peek at what the pleasant looking lady behind me is staring at on her phone: an episode of The Big Band Theory. Oh fu$% no! I can't stand that show. It was then that I realized that I had no FOMO cause I wasn't missing sh#$!
Time check: two minutes and thirty seconds had crawled passed. Ooh look, the line moved two more spaces. I've got this! I can do this all day. Back to my thoughts. I run a scene from a book I'm writing. The line moves another spot. I slide forward. An indeterminate amount of time cruises by. The lady behind me clears her throat.
"Excuse me?"
"Yes?" I said.
"Ah," she says and moves her eyes to the huge gap of space in front of me. I'd been so deep into my scene that I hadn't noticed the line moved three more giant spaces. "Oh, sorry," I said then closed the gap. Wow, I was daydreaming and didn't even notice the line move. I lost track of time and space.
This is what pot used to do to me...(ha...ha ha pot giggle)
My mind tried to reminisce about pot adventures-past but I wrangled it back.
Stick to the book scene dummy, now's not the time to reminisce-poetic about past pot episodes. (ha...ha ha).
I dove deep into the scene as if waking from a great dream then diving right back in.
There's a car chase. Two classic american muscle cars with pedals depressed to the floor are fishtailing around sharp corners. One car rolls. The other hit by a train. No that's stupid. Quiet! This is the part where ideas tumble around the old bean. Dumb ideas are allowed...until they're not. Ok, fine. Let's say the train derails then. What? Ok now you're just being—
"Next."
Huh? Who's talking? A voice. Is my brain being hacked?
"Next customer please."
Ha, that was easy. I step to the window and apologize the to the clerk for being 'out of it.'
"No problem. Normally it's people on their phones I'm waking up."
I handle my business then head back to my ride. I admit I was the guy that had the throat clearing come his way but at least I didn't need to rely on the web of all internets to entertain me. I've still got the old bean the Lord above gave me and she entertains me just fine thank you!
Before cranking the engine over I thought back to the last thing the post office clerk said to me.
"Where'd you go anyway?"
"Pardon me?" I said.
"Your little daydream. Where were you?"
"Working on a scene. I'm a writer," I said.
"Oh, well that explains a lot," she said with a laugh. "You writers, honestly."
Whether her comment was a dig at me and my fellow/feline writers didn't matter. I was just happy that while my brain has the capacity to entertain me it can also bring merriment to a government employee.
 |
| Quiet that mind baby! |
This is addiction. It's FOMO (fear of missing out) on anything 'meaningful' on the device. I was at the post office recently (don't judge me, I was mailing a book to a friend) and decided to leave my phone in my ride and just hang tight in the post office line up. Oh, boy was it a doozie! I was looking at a 15—20 minute wait. Ha, no sweat. I've got this.
The line was 15 people deep and 100% of them had heads down, necks cranked forward Lurch-style consuming every manner of 'whatever' their little computer phones would spit out. I was a man alone with no devise to amuse. Alas, I told myself, "worry not my friend for we have the thoughts in our head!" (That ought to be a party!)
At first nothing happened. I checked my watch: forty-five seconds had passed. Sh#$, this blows. I could have asked that my spot be saved then run and get my phone but NO, I've got this. Time check: one minute twenty seconds; and the line had not moved. I challenged myself:
let's go champ, whatcha got up in that pea brain?
I dug deep but nothing came. At this point I'm beginning to think I'm a moron. "NO!" my inner voice shouts. "No morons here this day!" I sneak a peek at the dude in front of me and clock what he's looking at: Facebook. How lame. I sneak a peek at what the pleasant looking lady behind me is staring at on her phone: an episode of The Big Band Theory. Oh fu$% no! I can't stand that show. It was then that I realized that I had no FOMO cause I wasn't missing sh#$!
Time check: two minutes and thirty seconds had crawled passed. Ooh look, the line moved two more spaces. I've got this! I can do this all day. Back to my thoughts. I run a scene from a book I'm writing. The line moves another spot. I slide forward. An indeterminate amount of time cruises by. The lady behind me clears her throat.
"Excuse me?"
"Yes?" I said.
"Ah," she says and moves her eyes to the huge gap of space in front of me. I'd been so deep into my scene that I hadn't noticed the line moved three more giant spaces. "Oh, sorry," I said then closed the gap. Wow, I was daydreaming and didn't even notice the line move. I lost track of time and space.
This is what pot used to do to me...(ha...ha ha pot giggle)
My mind tried to reminisce about pot adventures-past but I wrangled it back.
Stick to the book scene dummy, now's not the time to reminisce-poetic about past pot episodes. (ha...ha ha).
 |
| ha...ha ha what? |
I dove deep into the scene as if waking from a great dream then diving right back in.
There's a car chase. Two classic american muscle cars with pedals depressed to the floor are fishtailing around sharp corners. One car rolls. The other hit by a train. No that's stupid. Quiet! This is the part where ideas tumble around the old bean. Dumb ideas are allowed...until they're not. Ok, fine. Let's say the train derails then. What? Ok now you're just being—
"Next."
Huh? Who's talking? A voice. Is my brain being hacked?
"Next customer please."
Ha, that was easy. I step to the window and apologize the to the clerk for being 'out of it.'
"No problem. Normally it's people on their phones I'm waking up."
I handle my business then head back to my ride. I admit I was the guy that had the throat clearing come his way but at least I didn't need to rely on the web of all internets to entertain me. I've still got the old bean the Lord above gave me and she entertains me just fine thank you!
Before cranking the engine over I thought back to the last thing the post office clerk said to me.
"Where'd you go anyway?"
"Pardon me?" I said.
"Your little daydream. Where were you?"
"Working on a scene. I'm a writer," I said.
"Oh, well that explains a lot," she said with a laugh. "You writers, honestly."
Whether her comment was a dig at me and my fellow/feline writers didn't matter. I was just happy that while my brain has the capacity to entertain me it can also bring merriment to a government employee.
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